The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump died, and goes to
> Heaven.
>
> He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself.
> However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the
> Gatekeeper.
>
> St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to
> see you.
>
> We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though,
> that the place is filling up fast, and we have been
> administering an entrance examination for everyone. The
> test is short, but you have to pass it, before you can get
> into Heaven."
>
> Forrest responds, "It shor is good, to be here, St. Peter,
> sir. But nobody ever told me, about any entrance exam. I
> shor hope that the
> Test ain\'t too hard, life was a big enough test, as it
> was."
>
> St. Peter continued to say, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the
> test is only three questions.
>
> First: What two days of the week, begins with the letter
> T?
>
> Second: How many seconds, are there, in a year?
>
> Third: What is God\'s first name?"
>
> Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the
> next day, and sees St. Peter, who waved him up, and said,
> "Now that you have had a
> chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."
>
> Forrest replied, "Well, the first one -- which two days in
> the week, begins with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one is
> easy. That would be, Today and Tomorrow."
>
> The Saint\'s eyes opened wide, and he exclaimed, "Forrest,
> that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point,
> and I guess, I did not specify, so I will give you credit,
> for that answer. How about the next one?" asked St. Peter.
>
> "How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder,"
> replied Forrest, but I thunk, and thunk, about that, and I
> guess the only answer, can be twelve."
>
> Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how
> in Heaven\'s name, could you come up, with twelve seconds
> in a year?"
>
> Forrest replied, "Shucks, there is got to be twelve:
> January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd. ! .."
>
> "Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you are
> going with this, and I see your point, though that was not
> quite what I had in mind.....but I will have to give you
> credit, for that one, too. Let us go on, with the third,
> and final question. Can you tell me God\'s
> first name"?
>
> "Sure", Forrest replied, "its Andy."
>
> Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated, and frustrated St Peter.
>
> "Ok, I can understand, how you came up, with your answers
> to my first two questions, but just how in the world, did
> you come up with, the
> name Andy, as the first name of God?"
>
> "Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest
> replied. "I learnt it from the song. .
>
> "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
>
> ANDY TELLS ME, I AM HIS OWN. . . "
>
> St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: "Run Forrest,
> run."
>
> Give me a sense of humor, Lord, Give me the ability, to
> understand a clean joke, To get some humor, out of life,
> And to pass it on, to
> other folk.
>
