Jumpy, you\'re out of your league.
How about you strip naked and run in circles whilst renowned poets throw their own feces at you to draw inspiration.
Ode to Jumpman:
Watch him run, watch him hide.
Watch him leap, and jump side to side.
Jumpman, will he ever be free?
A nightmare, or some fantasy?
Coverered in the essence of life,
Yet is he really living?
Poo, the one thing that is real,
Poo, I imagine he can feel.
Covering his anus, is it his, or is it mine?
Cover him with feces, make him a living shrine.
But why stop there? Another fluid awaits,
Jumpman, my darling, I want to come on your face.
LICK IT UP, LICK IT UP!
LAP IT UP, LAP IT UP!
I KNOW YOU LOVE IT,
YET YOU CRY.
DROWNING IN MY SEMEN,
SURELY YOU WILL DIE.
SWALLOW THE POO,
PERHAPS IT WILL SAVE YOU.
My darling, Jumpman,
You are, therefore you will.
Gobble down my feces,
And my semen you\'ll swill.
I want to touch you in sacred places,
I want to see the look on your parents faces,
When they walk in on me and you,
When they walk in on me in you.
For one instant we will be one,
sharing the same body, just for fun.
The climax is near, it is painful for some,
Yet your anus is tender, in it I will come.
SEE HOW CLEVER I AM!?!?
Of course the interjection of intervention and inter-racial post-mortem X-Mas parties held in the Chinese new year should surely convert you to the Pay television subscriber you surely wish to sodomize. Why pay for two, when you could rape one in both holes? That\'s my philosophy. Of course if I were to channel enough energy to travel back in-time just a milisecond, I could probably avoid your torturous rampage of incoherrant babbling and unfounded conjecture. OH NO THE SECOND PART OF YOUR POST DOESN\'T SOUND LIKE THE FIRST PART, you are obviously some sort of suicidal homosexual confused by your pathological urges of denial and revulsion at the female genetalia. I have news for you my brave soldier; tasting frozen yoghurt on the weekends has nothing to do with anything at all. So why ask, then, though, perhaps I wonder, if indeed the conclusion can be drawn that I have found several used condoms in my cornflakes and have yet to find the culprit. Meanwhile, my breakfast has never been so nutritious. Chewy, chewy.
Chewbacca: ARRRLRLRLRLRLRLRRRRRRRRRRR!
Han Solo: What the fuck?
Chewbacca: ARGGGGRRRLRLRLGLGRRRRRR!
Han Solo: What the fuck?
Chewbacca: Yo, mother-fucker? Don\'t be hatin\' on my rhymes. Don\'t be bouncin\' off my checks. Don\'t be trippin\' on my fence. Don\'t be coagulating my semen and placing it in moulds with little bananas on the inside at regular intervals for all the children of the street to feed on? NAY THE NEIGHBORHOOD AND INDEED TO UNIVERSE AWAITS YOUR PERVERTED FETISH OF MAKING CHILDREN EAT YOUR SEMEN AS SWEETENED GELATINOUS FOOD STUFFS, filling their mouths full of man candy. But why stop their, you derelict mother-fucker? Why not just pulverize their incoherant heads into mush, then stuff it up your own ass, then shit it into a bowl, add yeast and flour and make some sort of monstrous and somewhat delicious LOAF out of your farinacious ass dough and feed it to the homeless? You sick fuck, I will decimate you before you have the chance!
Han Solo: I... wait? Are we still in character?
Chewbacca: ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHLLLLLLLLRRRRRRRRRRRLRLRLRRRR!
Harrison Ford: What the fuck? I\'m no..
YOU WILL NEVER KNOW HOW IT ENDS, OF COURSE THERE IS ONLY ONE RATIONAL OUTCOME... MY DICK IN YOUR FACE you ungrateful little faggot! AHA! SEE HOW I SWEAR AND CALL YOU NAMES!>?! BUT OH NO I HAVE NO EYEWS SO HOW CAN I SEE VERY WELLL I NEED TO GET TO CHURCH ON TIME! I\'M HAPPY, HOPE YOUR HAPPY TOOO! MAYBE I WILL LISTEN TO THE NEW COLDPLAY SINGLE AND BLOW MY FUCKING BRAINS OUT BECAUSE IT\'S SO FUCKING REDUNDANT yet I hesitate, do I want to blow my brains out? Hardly seems worth listening to Coldplay for. Perhaps I should wait, and.. perculate.
Go molest a pedophilic anthropologist you obese spawn of hell (Canada).
