The storyThe paraphrase:
In a ludicrous scheme to steal exotic animals from a zoo and trade them for money, two thieves met their match. They did manage to steal a 1.2 meter 40 kilo writhing bag of vicousness and get it over a 2 meter security fence when they settled for stealing a young crocodile. Why did they settle though? They tried to steal the much cuter and cuddlier koalas, but they got the shit kicked, bitten, and scratched out of them.