Fuck Ohio State.
Fuck their 7 national championships and 7 Heismans. Fuck Woody Hayes. Yeah, I said it. Fuck their gay ass band and fuck dotting the "I". Great, you assholes can spell your own state name. Good thing its four letters.
Fuck their coach in his queer ass sweater vests and fuck the little stickers they put on their helmets. Fuck their ESPN mouthpiece, Kirk Herbstreit, and his quest to have the most wrong predictions in the same season.
Fuck their mascot, a fucking nut with arms and legs and a fucking FACE. Yep, seen alot of those in my time.
Fuck the Big 10, which actually has 11 teams. Fuck their stadium, which they refer to as the Horseshoe even though they closed in the once-open endzone years ago. It\'s called an oval, Assholes, bet your band can even spell it with a little practice.
Fuck their famous alumni like Jack Nicklaus. Tiger\'s better. No, he didn\'t go to Florida, but he lives here. And was Jack on a famous TV show like The Beverly Hillbillies? Ever heard of Buddy Ebsen? Gator.
Oh yeah, fuck living in Ohio. It\'s cold and your women get to wear sweaters and jeans all year to hide their ever-present winter layer of fat. Every time you take one home it must be like opening a Christmas present, sometimes you\'re happy, sometimes you\'re disappointed. No such mystery here, when we get fat chicks home its on purpose! And you guys don\'t even have natural disasters like hurricanes and wildfires to contend with. No sharks, no alligators, no cracked-out Cubans. Pussies.
Your biggest rival is Michigan. Buttoned down Michigan. Ours are toothless hillbillies from Tennessee, sisterfucking rednecks from Georgia, and developmentally delayed felons from Tallahassee.
It\'s go time Gators. If we win, we\'re the only school EVER to have the football and basketball national championship trophies on the mantle at the same time. Not to mention the Dancing With the Stars title that E. Smith brought home. I didn\'t see Eddie George trying that shit.
Topic: i got this email from a buddy today. Thought it was cute. (Read 728 times)