Oh gman, now you\'re gonna have to listen to me ramble:
There are definitely butch/femme lesbian couples, but my gf and I are both kind of in between. I have short hair and carry a wallet, but I also wear makeup about once a week and will throw on some strappy sandles in the summertime. My girl is the same. But if I had to pick, I guess I\'d say I\'m the "boy" because I tend to take care of the handywork and yard work, while she does the laundry and cooks most of the time. However in my last relationship I did most of the cooking and laundry.
Personality-wise I\'m more "stoic" and tend to cry less than she does. She likes to talk about feelings and I...well...don\'t. Incidentally, my mother and four aunts are the exact same way. And they\'re all independent and handy around the house. If I can research on the internet and find a way to fix my car myself, I\'ll do it. My gf makes me get her oil changed, but then again if you look at her family, her mother is the helpless type who can\'t do any "guy" stuff without her husbands assistance.
Oh, and sexually, it\'s pretty balanced. I\'ve never actually owned a strap-on for whatever reason...I\'m not opposed to it (I\'ve partaken in the past in both roles but not recently)
Hitting on girls:
Keep in mind I\'ve only been sexually active for the last 9 yrs of my life (I\'m 27) I\'ve actually been quite surprised a couple times by who\'s turned out to be open to fooling around with girls. And I\'m shy, so in most cases where I was unsure, I waited until I had definite vibes before I made any moves. You can just tell when someone is interested in you. Several girls I\'ve been with I met at a gay event or online so there was no question as to orientation. I\'ve never hit on a girl who didn\'t turn out to be gay, but not because I\'m good at sniffing them out (no pun intended...and my \'gaydar\' isn\'t that great anyway), more because in the past, I always wait until I know something is there.
Promiscuity:
I would say no, lesbians are not as promiscuous as gay men simply because we\'re women and men are men. That\'s just my observation, I don\'t want to fuel any stereotypes because there are definitely promiscuous women and sexually-reserved men. In the lesbian communities I\'ve encountered, the women are much more likely to fall in love and want to be together forever and ever and blah blah blah. Also, in middle-class communities, the selection isn\'t always that great as far as looks and body type.
If I were single and in an environment where reasonably good-looking girls were willing, I\'d probably sleep around quite a bit. I can sleep with someone I just met if the chemistry is there. I also have to be aware of me having feelings for someone only because we shared some intimacy. I\'ve gotten wiser as I\'ve gotten older and tend to be cynical of the "we\'re in looooove" after 2 weeks crap that I see going on around me.
But really, there are lesbians of every personality and body type you can imagine. We only tend to notice the butchy and weird ones because they\'re the most visible. There is a lot to be said for chemistry and subtle hints that help not-so-obvious lesbians find each other.
