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Author Topic: not everyone is an A student  (Read 1826 times)

Offline Joker
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« Last Edit: May 11, 2007, 04:10:06 AM by Joker »
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Offline GmanJoe

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not everyone is an A student
« Reply #1 on: May 11, 2007, 04:18:49 AM »
Reminds me of the movie "Idiocracy".
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Originally posted by Seed_Of_Evil I must admit that the last pic of her ass will be used in my next masturbation. She\'s hot as hell, one of my

Offline Joker
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« Reply #2 on: May 11, 2007, 04:20:39 AM »
\"do we seriously have to shut down every thread that doesn\'t start out gay? Only threads you guys don\'t fuck up are the ones that start gay anyway.\"Videoholic

Offline Cerberus

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« Reply #3 on: May 11, 2007, 06:52:04 AM »
I\'ve seen some more of these somewhere.

funny shit.
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Offline Titan

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« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2007, 06:25:50 PM »



Those two were my favorites.
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Offline §ôµÏG®ïñD

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« Reply #5 on: May 11, 2007, 07:09:05 PM »
i\'m baffled at how peter couldn\'t know the answer to that question.



funny non the less.
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Offline cloud345
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« Reply #6 on: May 11, 2007, 07:47:04 PM »
My friend had an answer like those on an IB chem test we took today.

question was: What are two ways the greenhouse effect can cause a rise in sea levels?

he said: Melting of the polar ice caps, and Noahs Ark.
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Offline Titan

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« Reply #7 on: May 12, 2007, 02:30:16 PM »
cloud, that was actually quite gay. I\'m not gonna lie.

Quote
i\'m baffled at how peter couldn\'t know the answer to that question.



funny non the less.

Well he technically wasn\'t wrong :D
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Offline Evi

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« Reply #8 on: May 12, 2007, 11:05:42 PM »
LOL! Some of those are great. :D

Offline Titan

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« Reply #9 on: May 13, 2007, 06:12:04 AM »
I was sitting down and really thinking about those problems and I can\'t do them anymore. I forgot it all since I left high school. And my teachers said I needed this stuff in life :)
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"13 year old girls sleep with older men cause they think theyre in love
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Offline square_marker
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« Reply #10 on: May 13, 2007, 08:27:47 AM »
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle\'s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let\'s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle\'s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".
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Offline cloud345
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« Reply #11 on: May 13, 2007, 05:08:27 PM »
The following concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen.

"Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."

One student replied:

    "You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building."

This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed. The student appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case.

The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics.

For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn\'t make up his mind which to use.

On being advised to hurry up the student replied as follows:

"Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out from the formula H = 0.5g x t squared. But bad luck on the barometer."

"Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow. Then you measure the length of the skyscraper\'s shadow, and thereafter it is a simple matter of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper."

"But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring force T = 2 pi sqroot (l / g)."

"Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in barometer lengths, then add them up."

"If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course, you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in millibars into feet to give the height of the building."

"But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to knock on the janitor\'s door and say to him \'If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if you tell me the height of this skyscraper\'."

The student was Niels Bohr, the only person from Denmark to win the Nobel prize for Physics.




Smart ass genius\' are funny :)
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Offline Joker
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« Reply #12 on: May 13, 2007, 05:46:54 PM »
I seen that Hell one before, but I never heard the Niels Bohr one. That was really good lol
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Offline Titan

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« Reply #13 on: May 13, 2007, 06:29:31 PM »
Both those were funny. I liked the hell one especially when he talked about sleeping with that girl but the Niels Bohr one I think I heard somewhere before.
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Offline Evi

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« Reply #14 on: May 13, 2007, 09:17:56 PM »
Quote from: cloud345
Smart ass genius\' are funny :)
That they are. :D

 

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