i suffer from social anxiety disorder from a head injury. in probably around 1996 in vietnamese school in a temple in america, a vietnamese boy pulled my left ear so hard that it stretched out the skin on the scalp of the side of my left head that the stretched out scalp of the upper left side of my head became a scar. it also stretched out my left temple and the stretched out skin on my left temple became a lump. i also got a lump on the upper left side of my forehead and a big lump on the back of my left ear too because of that.
because of the scar on the back of my upper left side of my head and the lump on my left temple, i started to get social anxiety disorder. that time, i didn't know i have social anxiety disorder and didn't know the head injuries cause that either. it took me about 16 1/2 to 17 years later since the ear pulled incident to discovered that that i have social anxiety disorder and the cause of it was from the ear pulled around 16 1/2 to 17 years prior. that is a very long time to realized that was the case. knowing is half the battle, and getting the right help is another half the battle.
a few years after the ear pulled incident, probably either late 1998 or late 1999 to early 2000, the only 3 disorders that i know caused from the ear pulled is pain on where the upper left side on the back of my head was, anger, and paranoia. that time, i think if i remember correctly, i realized the paranoia is also caused from the lump on the left temple of my head too.
i ended up in juvenile hall in mid march 2000 because of it after about 4 years since the ear pulled incident. the pain on where the scar is on the back of my upper left side of my head made me get angry easily, not only that but amplified my anger too after about 2 1/2 to 3 years of not treating it. in either late december 1998 to early january 1999 is where i got the first sign of pain and anger from where the scar is. probably in january 1, 1999 (gives or take a couple days or so), where i first experiencing pain and anger that i broke a playstation 1 after i bought it for about a month. i can't remember if its my middle or my oldest brother that did something that i lose the game when i was playing a videogame. its been so long that i don't remember which brother did something that made me angry and i don't remember exactly what he did either.
the scar on my head amplified my anger that i gotten so angry that i picked up the ps1 that i was playing and threw it against the carpet floor in the living room that time. i broke the ps1. that time, i knew it was the scar that made me get angry easily and the scar also amplified the anger too. so it took about 2 1/2 to 3 years where i got the scar and left untreated that it caused me to get angry easily and it amplified my anger. think of it like stepping on a hose, the water struggles to flow through the hose where the foot step on it, and as years go by left untreated, the clogging ruined the part where the hose was being step on for years. another very good example is think of it like a bubble gum being stretched out. like the ear pulls, it stretches out the skin on the scalp near where the ear is. the stretched out skin can be called a scar and if left untreated for years, the blood and oxygen struggle to flow through where the scar is because the stretched out skin or the scar squeezed against my skull. as years go by, i am starting to experience pain on exactly where the scar is and i get angry easily and it amplifies my anger too. its exactly like having a stroke. nearly 2 years ago is when i realized its was exactly like having a stroke.
i will take a break from now and continue my life's story journal here later.
