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Author Topic: Do you know how FAST SANTA is!?!?!  (Read 2822 times)

Offline Joker
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Do you know how FAST SANTA is!?!?!
« on: December 24, 2000, 02:01:24 AM »
Ok assuming that (if there was) Santa has to do all his junk on Christmas eve.

To go around the world, and lets say he only visits children of the Christian faith (i\'m only using christianity as an example)

Santa has something like
1.23 seconds (or less) to get down the chimney, eat his stuff, fill the stockings, say ho ho ho and get his ass back on the sleigh and onto the next house.

He\'s pretty fast for a like a 500 year old overweight man. Hope he doesn\'t drop some lucky saps PS2 in all his hussle and bussle.
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Offline Hawke
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Do you know how FAST SANTA is!?!?!
« Reply #1 on: December 24, 2000, 02:26:38 AM »
There was an article on this in a Finnish mag yesterday, with very accurate calculations on the subject... can\'t remember which mag... quite intense work rhythm anyhow, phew :)
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Offline SHaCKLeD
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Do you know how FAST SANTA is!?!?!
« Reply #2 on: December 24, 2000, 05:54:54 AM »
I heard that santa has to go 4 times the speed of light to visit all of the world\'s houses......at that speed he would instantaneously combust in a matter of seconds. :D
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Offline §ôµÏG®ïñD

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Do you know how FAST SANTA is!?!?!
« Reply #3 on: December 24, 2000, 06:09:30 AM »
Ohhh. I always thought santa was just my dad.. Ohh well. I was wrong.
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Offline TaloFinn
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Do you know how FAST SANTA is!?!?!
« Reply #4 on: December 24, 2000, 06:49:37 AM »
I wonder how long those calculations on Santa\'s speed have been around.. Recall hearing about it ages ago..
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Offline Peltopukki
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Do you know how FAST SANTA is!?!?!
« Reply #5 on: December 24, 2000, 07:19:58 AM »
Yup. those calculations have been around for some time. santa has got quite nice acceleration/braking records...
tough it would be more simple and more more efficent in terms of energy usage.
If he just bends the universe around him and does his tasks at normal speed... :)
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Offline Darth Joyda
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Do you know how FAST SANTA is!?!?!
« Reply #6 on: December 24, 2000, 07:25:27 AM »
Now you crushed all my theories of Santa\'s excistence...

Nah, just kidding.

Nice. Merry X-mas!
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Offline Halberto
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Do you know how FAST SANTA is!?!?!
« Reply #7 on: December 24, 2000, 10:15:42 AM »
Wanna here something gross but funny? When I was six and still believed in Santa, I went down the stairs cuz I heard a noise and thought it was Santa. I saw my cat barfing all over the ham we were thawing out. So in the morning I saw the ham cleaned off, then later my Mom cooked it and only gave it to my relatives and my family at Turkey. I guess it\'s not something to be proud of but it is still funny! :D :D :D
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Do you know how FAST SANTA is!?!?!
« Reply #8 on: December 24, 2000, 10:33:22 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by ViVi
Wanna here something gross but funny? When I was six and still believed in Santa, I went down the stairs cuz I heard a noise and thought it was Santa. I saw my cat barfing all over the ham we were thawing out. So in the morning I saw the ham cleaned off, then later my Mom cooked it and only gave it to my relatives and my family at Turkey. I guess it\'s not something to be proud of but it is still funny! :D :D :D


Thats just sick, has the whole world gone ****ing insane?!?!?!
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Offline unknown
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Do you know how FAST SANTA is!?!?!
« Reply #9 on: December 24, 2000, 12:35:25 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Potatocake
Quote
Originally posted by ViVi
Wanna here something gross but funny? When I was six and still believed in Santa, I went down the stairs cuz I heard a noise and thought it was Santa. I saw my cat barfing all over the ham we were thawing out. So in the morning I saw the ham cleaned off, then later my Mom cooked it and only gave it to my relatives and my family at Turkey. I guess it\'s not something to be proud of but it is still funny! :D :D :D


Thats just sick, has the whole world gone ****ing insane?!?!?! [/B]



HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA holy jesus saint nick, that must be the sickest thing i have ever heard in my life, that is soe out of f*cking hand sheet man, what kind of family feeds there relatives ham that a cat threw up on HAHAHAHA lmao lmao
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Offline Living-In-Clip

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Do you know how FAST SANTA is!?!?!
« Reply #10 on: December 24, 2000, 01:44:42 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by ViVi
Wanna here something gross but funny? When I was six and still believed in Santa, I went down the stairs cuz I heard a noise and thought it was Santa. I saw my cat barfing all over the ham we were thawing out. So in the morning I saw the ham cleaned off, then later my Mom cooked it and only gave it to my relatives and my family at Turkey. I guess it\'s not something to be proud of but it is still funny! :D :D :D


Hahaha! Your mom kicks ass.
:D
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Offline Darth Joyda
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Do you know how FAST SANTA is!?!?!
« Reply #11 on: December 24, 2000, 01:49:16 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by ViVi
Wanna here something gross but funny? When I was six and still believed in Santa, I went down the stairs cuz I heard a noise and thought it was Santa. I saw my cat barfing all over the ham we were thawing out. So in the morning I saw the ham cleaned off, then later my Mom cooked it and only gave it to my relatives and my family at Turkey. I guess it\'s not something to be proud of but it is still funny! :D :D :D


WOW!

AMAZING story!

FUNNY but gross.

Thanks, now I lost my hunger for X-mas food :)

Maybe if our ham is...? We got two cats...

Stay in there, mind! Don\'t leave me now!
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Offline Halberto
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Do you know how FAST SANTA is!?!?!
« Reply #12 on: December 24, 2000, 02:43:43 PM »
Me and my Mom are the only ones who know! :D
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Offline 6(sic)6
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Do you know how FAST SANTA is!?!?!
« Reply #13 on: December 29, 2000, 05:06:33 AM »
:laughing:
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Offline §ôµÏG®ïñD

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Do you know how FAST SANTA is!?!?!
« Reply #14 on: December 29, 2000, 07:55:15 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by ViVi
Wanna here something gross but funny? When I was six and still believed in Santa, I went down the stairs cuz I heard a noise and thought it was Santa. I saw my cat barfing all over the ham we were thawing out. So in the morning I saw the ham cleaned off, then later my Mom cooked it and only gave it to my relatives and my family at Turkey. I guess it\'s not something to be proud of but it is still funny! :D :D :D

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Remind me NEVER too have Dinner at your house.
:D quite funny.
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