I\'m entering the hardest fight of my life

As some of you allready know, the woman I love and I have been having some problems. We had been together 6 years and I know that she is "the one" (not you billy)

Anyways, 12 days ago she told me that she needed some space. She told me that she knew I was the man for her and that she would be coming back to me. So I said fine. It was gonna be hard but it was something I was willing to do if it meant we could then get married and spend the rest of our lives together.

I didn\'t talk to her for 10 days, then I just broke down and called her cause I just wanted to ask her if she really meant what she said about loving me and comeing back.

Well now apparently she doesn\'t and she won\'t. I don\'t know what happened to her in the last ten days but now I am facing the hardest fight of my life trying to move on. Everybody that knows her well is telling me to not give up hope because she is the kind of person to act on impulses and change her mind quickly. Everybody is telling me to just give her a few months and then see what happenes, but I feel totally lost right now.

I know this sounds crazy to any of you that are not deeply in love but let me just end it with this.

All I know is that I love this girl with everything I have, and I\'m going to do my best to move on, but I will allways leave the door a little crack open for her.

Please give me any advice you all might have. Even if you think its stupid. I\'m just really not doing good right now. Thanks everyone. I really do consider you all freinds.

Luke

That hits you in the spot. I don\'t know what to say, I really never have been in "Love" before. I do have a Girlfriend, but the "L" word has never seriously come up.

If I were you I wouldn\'t give up just yet though, give her some time, if she still doesn\'t come back. Then I don\'t know what to tell you.



But keep ya head up.

Damnit I hate to hear this.  I\'ve been in a situation like this before, Lucas.  Just make sure she knows how you feel.  I wouldn\'t propose yet; that\'s another issue.  But just tell her right out.

I don\'t want to talk out of my butt, b/c I don\'t understand women.  But she needs to know that you won\'t wait forever.  YOU need to know that you CAN\'T wait forever.  There\'s a difference between months and years.  

One thing\'s for sure, you don\'t want her to do something like this if you DO get married.  Better to have this out now.

Good luck.  And come in here and update us, too.

Since nothing like this has ever happened to me I can\'t give you any advice all I can say is I\'m sorry Lucas and I hope this story has a happy ending.

Well Lucas, I know a lot of people will be telling you to give her time. But the way you describe it, it\'s real love and no one can blame you for not wanting to wait. But right now I guess that\'s the only thing you can do. Try to cheer up, rent some movies, games, hang with friends or anything that takes your mind off her. I hope everything works out for you and her.

First off, my sympathy.  Six years is a long time to be with someone, and even if it were just a pal (let alone GF), it would hurt to lose them.  Unfortunately, love has to be a two way street.  I hope that if you just give her a few weeks, she\'ll realize how much she loves you, and how much she misses you in her life.  If she doesn\'t, well, then it\'s probably a good thing you found out before you tied the knot.  

If you have common friends (especially girls), try and get their take on the situation.  My last serious GF\'s girlfriends were a wellspring of usefull relationship info, cause my GF talked to them about everything.  Use the time to get reaquainted with all your buds.  Keep busy, don\'t wait around at home (hoping she\'ll call), just try and move on with your life, and don\'t dwell on what you can\'t change.

Time is the best cure for something like this, I think.  I kinda know how you feel, Lucas.  The only thing you can really do without making the situation worse is to wait it out and hope for the best.

I hate to say this but move on.

If you sit around feeling down and out she\'ll feel satisfied in a weird way

You need to move on and if so pretend it don\'t matter.

I may sound cruel, but anyone who has ever broken up with someone or has seperated 9 times out of 10 gets satisfaction by seeing the other person not being happy. SO you calling her, or wanting her back or begging for lack of a better word will do nothing but stroke her ego and knock your own self esteem down some

NOW

I have gone through these situations many times, not 6 years worth but lots of relationships.

Honest to god you got to pick yourself up go out with the boys. Take up a new hobby or 3 besides sitting home and playing videogames and keep your mind off of her.

YOU WILL find someone else and a few years from now you will look back and realize how she wasn\'t the girl for you

You have to trust what I\'m saying

Grab some buddies go on a road trip, go camping, go to a game, just have fun anyway possible.  YOU WILL REBOUND


best to ya

I agree, the best thing is to just give her the space she asks for. Don\'t go too far away though, or else she might have second thoughts because of how quickly you got over it. Talk to her once in a while, but don\'t mention the relationship too much. (Don\'t be hanging on her nuts either) Just talk to her as a friend who is concerned for her feelings.

Women are strange creatures, and I know that if I was in your spot I\'d be climbing the f*cking walls. All I can say is good luck, and I hope things work out.

PS. In the mean time, just pop in a Sam Kinnison album and grab a fifth of something hard. Least that might dull the pain for a little while.

thanks everyone, your really helping.

and ddaryl, trust me I\'m not going to call her anymore. I will not beg her to come back. I\'m going to move on and do the things I have to do. But all I know is that I love her and I still believe she is the one for me. I just have to have faith in my own instincts and give it time.

What else can I do? I can\'t just wake up tommorow morning and not love her anymore.

Originally posted by SonyFan
I agree, the best thing is to just give her the space she asks for. Don\'t go too far away though, or else she might have second thoughts because of how quickly you got over it. Talk to her once in a while, but don\'t mention the relationship too much. (Don\'t be hanging on her nuts either) Just talk to her as a friend who is concerned for her feelings.

Women are strange creatures, and I know that if I was in your spot I\'d be climbing the f*cking walls. All I can say is good luck, and I hope things work out.

PS. In the mean time, just pop in a Sam Kinnison album and grab a fifth of something hard. Least that might dull the pain for a little while.

Actually I disagree, she\'s clearly gone her own way. Stay friends say hi but go your own way

There is no way he\'ll be able to keep his emotions in check or heal himself always hanging on to some hope she\'ll come back.

She only said she needed some space to make the break up easier for her.

yea i think that she may hve some issues you don\'t know about to make her do this so sudden - i hope it works ou but as DDaryl said it doesn\'t seem headed in that direction so just keep yourself busy and try not to be by yourself or else you will start thinking about things to get her back

trust me i know how you feel my dad is going through the exact samething - my stepmom just up and said she didn\'t love him and that she wants some space - they are still friends and she is starting to relieze she loved him more than she thought - but it has been more than 6 months and they aren\'t back together  - but there is a possiblity for them  

if anything keep in touch with her and talk to her about whats she been up to and what not - also tell her about all the fun you have been having but that you still miss her - these things will let her know you care for her but you don\'t linger on her all the time, and that you can make it on your own

i am pretty good with relationships - so i hope the best for you

Just think, once you learn to deal with these things and find your own peace with these situations, the next time it happens you\'ll be more broken up about the stuff she took with her when she left you than her leaving.  I don\'t know what it is but they tend to move out when you\'re gone for the weekend and you come home to an empty house, and if they\'re really bad about it, you\'ll be on your way to the dollar store to restock on ice cube trays and trash cans!  I mean really, ice trays?

Also, here\'s a tip for you:  Next time you live with a chick, make sure you buy the ugliest shower curtain you can find, or at least one she hates.  You\'ll thank me for this advice later, trust me.

Actually, ddaryl I was just agreeing with the general concensus of the thread. I didn\'t even see your post. I really don\'t agree with ya. My cousin/best friend was in a similar situation with his gf about a year ago. Actually his was much worse since she was verbally tearing him down 8 hours streight every night at work. He went through some hell lemmie tell you, but if he had listened to your advice he wouldn\'t have been there to help her work through her problems and they wouldn\'t be happily engaged or have a gorgeous 4 month old baby girl right now.

I guess you really have to sort your feelings out on this Lucas. Be totally honest with yourself. DO you really love her? DO you know if she really loved you? If not, then I don\'t think the relationship would be worth putting yourself into that much pain over, since you\'d really only just be delaying the inevitable. If you do, really... REALLY love her.. then I say no pain is too much. What\'s the worst that can happen? She\'ll leave forever and you\'ll be utterly heartbroken. It\'s the same situation you\'ll be in if you just give up... but at least you\'ll KNOW there was just nothing else you could have done.

man thats really bad

what ever you do dont crowd her, dont go out of your way to see her, but if you bimp into her be nice, but dont stay to long, say youve got to be somewhere, say it was nice talking to you again, maybe we\'ll go out sometime.e.g lunch.  But try to move on, take up a new hobbie, preferbably a sport, make some new mates and try to get on with your life, it will be hard at first, but youll get through it. This may sound bad now, but maybe she isnt the one for you, maybe youll meet someone else tomorrow when you go to the shops, it will all work out for you in the end mate, so dont worry