I wrote this one day after gettin\' annoyed by Mcdonalds service.. Use at your own risk.
Torture Mcdonalds..."No, you may not!" --Act 1-- "May I help you?", it happens everytime you go thru Mcdonald\'s Drive-Thru.. Its not like they actually expect you to say "No, thanks." , now is it? Well, now you do! This prank is simple, and can be extremely annoying. Find a slow night, and go up to the drive-thru machine, when they "May I help you?" simply go "No, Thanks". Then drive back thru, wait in line.. Do it again. By the 10th time, you should start to get more rude. When they go "May I help you?", go "NO! I TOLD YOU FOR THE LAST TIME ..NO!", and drive thru (if you can back out, that\'d be sweet).. Get more aggresive each time, and more "paranoid" in your little responses. Within 20 mintues of doing this, you will get someone extremely pissed off..
"I\'d like whopper..er..what?." --Act 2-- Go to Mcdonalds (or whatever), and ask for a Whopper. But, of course they don\'t sell one, so let them explain that. So, then ask for curly fries, which they don\'t sell. When you do this, be sure to be really slow, and act old. Draw this whole thing as much as possible, and act very confused. Once you\'ve limited everything out, ask them what THEY do sell. This of course, will piss them off, because you have a menu infront of you. So, if by chance, they point that out, go "My eye-sight isn\'t so good sonny.." that way they HAVE to explain to you what they do sell. If you done this right, and made it last long enough, you should have a line behind you. If you\'ve got a line long enough behind you, and they are pissed, simply go.. "You serve pepsi?", when they answer "Yes", go "I\'d like a small pepsi, please!" . Of course, they are going to be pissed off, and so are the people behind you, when they pull up to see you wasted all their time, for one small Pepsi..
"Thats how much?" --Act 3-- Work at Mcdonalds for awhile,(not that I have) and one of the most annoying things you\'ll encounter is when people ask you how much something is, even though they can read the menu. So, simply order something, and keep asking how much it is. Once you add to that order, like a soda, ask for a total. Then add more to it again. Make a limit on price though. Once you get to your 5 dollars, go, "Well, I don\'t quite have that much..How much would a small fry be?". This joke is rather boring, but still can provide some amusement. Then repeat the ordeal.
"I want ELAINE, DAMNIT!"--Act 4-- This one requires research, and money! Money you ask? Why yes! You need to buy a phonecard! Now for the research part... Find an employee\'s first name, perferably a new one. Once you do this, go to a pay-phone, use your phonecard, and call Mcdonalds. Ask for the employee (elaine is example). Once they ask you if its an emergency go, "No! Elaine told me to call here, and talk to her when bored.", in which they should explain she is busy working. Hang up, and do it again later. Do it a few times, till they get pissed at Elaine. THe next night, do it again, except be more rude. Eventually, you\'ll get the manager if you continue this up. Once you do this, and you know you have the manager, say something like. "Look, Elaine said I could call any ****ing time I wanted. She ain\'t worried about being fired by you. So, put Elaine on the phone *****.", this should call quite a stir among Elaine and her manager. Why, you ask? (1) You insulted him/her. Thats a no-no. (2) The buisness phone is not for personal calls. Otherwise could result in termination of employment.
"The Biggie" --Act 5-- This one is my second favorite (I love the first) . This one also takes more then one car to be as fun as possible. Also, need to find an extremely slow night, like only you and your freind. Try late at night, before they close, for best results. The first car (and second) are going to place extremely big orders. Heres what to do.. Drive to the menu-monitor-thingy, and order 35 (or more) burgers, with special request. Like one with cheese, one without, one with onion, 3 without. Then order a bunch of fries, and apple pies. 20 or more sodas. Back out of the parking lot, and have your freind drive up. Have him place an even larger amount. Wait a few mintues, and then one of you should go inside (if possible) and order just something to eat, to listen to them *****, and run around about all the food that was wasted, and the work they done. This NEVER FAILS, if the joke was pulled right. For an added effect, make them read the order back, and act like they got something wrong, and change most the order completely! Do this a few times, for maxium results.
