Hello

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

« previous next »
Pages: [1] 2

Author Topic: time for a joke..  (Read 890 times)

Offline luckee
  • Resident Pimp
  • Legendary Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 7503
  • Karma: +10/-0
    • http://
time for a joke..
« on: August 28, 2002, 06:02:03 PM »
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle\'s Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing with time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving.

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let\'s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions, and since people do not belong to more than on religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell. Because Boyle\'s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year - that "? it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you" - and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true; and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze over.
Logged
\"Booze, broads, and bullshit. If you got all that, what else do you need?\"-Harry Caray

Don\'t cry over spilled milk., It could have been Whiskey.-Me

A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.-George Washington
Offline Soul Reaver
  • What\'s up duders?
  • Legendary Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 2546
  • Karma: +10/-0
time for a joke..
« Reply #1 on: August 28, 2002, 06:05:44 PM »
Ha

It\'s kinda funny.
Logged
Offline mm
  • clyde\'s boss
  • Legendary Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 15576
  • Karma: +10/-0
    • http://
time for a joke..
« Reply #2 on: August 28, 2002, 06:06:40 PM »
i swear that was the 1st joke posted on the internet, ever

and this was the second:

"Excerpt from a recent live radio interview on one of the regional Welsh stations:

A female newscaster is interviewing the leader of a Youth club:
Interviewer:- So, Mr. Jones, what are you going to do with these children on this adventure holiday?

Jones:- We\'re going to teach them climbing, abseiling, canoeing, archery, shooting...

Interviewer:- Shooting! That\'s a bit irresponsible isn\'t it?

Jones:- I don\'t see why, they\'ll be properly supervised on the range.

Interviewer:- Don\'t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

Jones:- I don\'t see how, we will be teaching them proper range discipline before they even touch a firearm.

Interviewer:- But you\'re equipping them to become violent killers.

Jones:- Well, you\'re equipped to be a prostitute but you\'re not one are you?

Needless to say, the interview was terminated almost immediately...... "
Logged
\"Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.\" - Clemenza
Offline theomen
  • Legendary Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 7762
  • Karma: +10/-0
    • http://
time for a joke..
« Reply #3 on: August 28, 2002, 06:07:27 PM »
pretty funny stuff
Logged
Offline The Stapler
  • Eternal Shin Splints
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1335
  • Karma: +10/-0
    • http://www.staples.com
time for a joke..
« Reply #4 on: August 28, 2002, 06:11:34 PM »
I haven\'t heard mm\'s joke.
Logged
Offline luckee
  • Resident Pimp
  • Legendary Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 7503
  • Karma: +10/-0
    • http://
time for a joke..
« Reply #5 on: August 28, 2002, 06:14:59 PM »
You have some type of point mm? I havent heard either untill today as well as some others in here aparently. Old or not..funny needs to be shared in this world.
Logged
\"Booze, broads, and bullshit. If you got all that, what else do you need?\"-Harry Caray

Don\'t cry over spilled milk., It could have been Whiskey.-Me

A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.-George Washington

Offline Titan

  • Sniper Kitten
  • Administrator
  • Legendary Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 16583
  • Karma: +12/-0
  • PSN ID: flightlessbeaker
time for a joke..
« Reply #6 on: August 28, 2002, 06:15:54 PM »
Both were pretty funny. Tehe. luckee\'s was funny. I wonder if the kid got the bonus question or not.
Logged
Liquid Spam of The Spaminators
"That took some balls to stick a gun in his pants." -Gman
"LOL u know id fuck yu wsboth right? i would love to fuck the both of uyouy

U R FUCJKGIN FCUTE" -THX to luke and Bob
"13 year old girls sleep with older men cause they think theyre in love
13 year old boys sleep with older women cause theyd be stupid not to

Offline Kurt Angle

  • Administrator
  • Legendary Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 7923
  • Karma: +10/-0
  • PSN ID: Supes1975
time for a joke..
« Reply #7 on: August 29, 2002, 08:40:00 AM »
There both new to me!

Funny stuff!
Logged
Offline Seed_Of_Evil
  • White God
  • Legendary Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6881
  • Karma: +10/-0
time for a joke..
« Reply #8 on: August 29, 2002, 08:47:12 AM »
Funny ones :laughing:

Titan, if a guy replies that in a test in Spain, there is no bonus :D
Logged
Todas estas cosas se perderán en el tiempo como lágrimas en la lluvia.
Offline Ashford
  • -=Short-Fuse Mod=-
  • Legendary Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 3184
  • Karma: +10/-0
    • http://
time for a joke..
« Reply #9 on: August 29, 2002, 09:22:02 AM »
Here\'s a better college joke...

4 students were doing so well in their Chemistry course that they decided on the weekend of the final, they would go off to a wild party instead. They got so drunk that they missed the final and told the professor that they had a flat tire in the middle of the night and couldn\'t make it back until after the final. So the professor gave them the makeup, put them in separate rooms and they began the test.

The first question was "What is the symbol for Hydrogen? (5 points)"

"Cool", they thought. "This is gonna be easy." They answer it and turn the page and saw the next question...

"WHICH TIRE? (95 points)"
Logged
July 2002: If you had bought $1000.00 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. Enron, $16.50 left. Worldcom, $5.00 left. If you had bought $1,000.00 worth of Budweiser beer one year ago, drank it all and turned in the cans for the 10 cent deposit, you would have $214.00. Based on the above, my current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
Offline jp6666
  • Senior Member

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1322
  • Karma: +10/-0
    • http://
time for a joke..
« Reply #10 on: August 29, 2002, 10:17:39 AM »
:nut: :laughing:  soo funny !
Logged
There are no winners in a war , everyone loses . The only battle to be fought for the sake of the future is in our hearts -  Jean-Paul
DiamondCutter2
  • Guest
time for a joke..
« Reply #11 on: August 29, 2002, 10:19:16 AM »
RECYCLED JOKE TIME!
Why do priests shop at KMART?
They heard little boy\'s pants were half off!

How do they know when it is time for bed?
When the big hand is on the little hand!
Logged
Offline jp6666
  • Senior Member

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1322
  • Karma: +10/-0
    • http://
time for a joke..
« Reply #12 on: August 29, 2002, 11:04:26 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by DiamondCutter2
RECYCLED JOKE TIME!
Why do priests shop at KMART?
They heard little boy\'s pants were half off!

How do they know when it is time for bed?
When the big hand is on the little hand!



DiamondCutter2 !! THATS JUST WRONG ! :crap:
Logged
There are no winners in a war , everyone loses . The only battle to be fought for the sake of the future is in our hearts -  Jean-Paul
Offline mm
  • clyde\'s boss
  • Legendary Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 15576
  • Karma: +10/-0
    • http://
time for a joke..
« Reply #13 on: August 29, 2002, 11:06:14 AM »
lol @ jp\'s sig

:)
Logged
\"Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.\" - Clemenza
Offline Ashford
  • -=Short-Fuse Mod=-
  • Legendary Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 3184
  • Karma: +10/-0
    • http://
time for a joke..
« Reply #14 on: August 29, 2002, 12:20:56 PM »
The Simpson\'s called...

They want their signature back...

:P
Logged
July 2002: If you had bought $1000.00 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. Enron, $16.50 left. Worldcom, $5.00 left. If you had bought $1,000.00 worth of Budweiser beer one year ago, drank it all and turned in the cans for the 10 cent deposit, you would have $214.00. Based on the above, my current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
Pages: [1] 2
« previous next »
 

SMF spam blocked by CleanTalk