Some new jokes:
My computer is like Britney Spears; cheap, white, and plastic.
What do you call an annorexic with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese!
A Leprechaun and his Bodily Fluids
One day a man walked in a bar with a box. He sat down, opened the box and out popped a leprechaun. The man told the bartender, "I want a pint of beer and a shot of whiskey for my buddy here."
There was man sitting at the end of the bar watching all of this and, after the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he ran down to the end of the bar and spit in the guy\'s face. Then he ran back.
The guy with the box said, "I\'ll have another beer and a shot of whiskey for my buddy here."
After the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he again ran to the end of the bar and spit in the man\'s face, then dashed back.
The guy with the box ordered another beer for himself and another shot for the leprechaun. Again, the after the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he ran down to the end of the bar. But this time the man was waiting for him and he grabbed the leprechaun and held him in the air.
He said, "If you spit in my face again, I\'m going to cut your pecker off."
The leprechaun laughed and said, "Leprechauns don\'t have peckers."
Then the man said, "If you don\'t have peckers, then how do you ejaculate?"
"By spitting," said the leprechaun.
English, Irish & Scottish Football
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel.
"Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I\'ll eat the liver."
"I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I\'ll eat the heart."
"I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."
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Ill look for some nasty ones later.
