"N" word is sprayed in womens home....

[clips]

Not to sound like a dick, but black people can always holler racism when a white person does something to them, and whites have to prove otherwise...


case in point: My boss\'s daughter is in college, and last semester the teacher caught a black girl cheating red-handed right in class. The girl flipped shit and raised a rukkus and immediately started screaming racism. Then she had to be removed by security, because she assaulted the teacher. The girl has filed a lawsuit alleging racism. Now the teacher has to go to court and defend herself. The girl\'s case is basically that the teacher was unfairly targeting her because she is black.  

Whatever..I\'m buying a cabin in the wilderness and homeschooling my daughter.... I\'ll tell her "you better watch out for them black folks...."

I believe that happened, but what i was pointing to was the more obvious cases of racism,...like when that afri. american was dragged from the back of the pick-up truck by some white folk in texas until his body literally broke apart, or the jena six incident,...those are clearly racist acts,....do some black folk abuse the race card issue?...sure....but i don\'t believe that when it comes to racist acts that it\'s a 50/50 thing... i feel it\'s more like 80/20 or maybe...70/30.

I remember back in \'89 when i was like 19 and i had just purchased my 240 sx brand new, body kit with rims and all and me and my menz would always go to this park in union,nj to play some B-ball and whenever we wanted to go there somebody always said.."damn, why ya\'ll wanna go up there?...those cops be trippin...(meaning those white cops)"...and most of the time we went through that white neighborhood we almost always got pulled over....now we could have stayed in the hood and played on the courts there, but there was this one court in union that was brand new. So even tho i knew we would get harrassed, i thought it would be worth it playin\' on a new court.


So in my experience and mostly everybody else in the hood at least when it came to interacting with white folk, *mainly white cops or down in deep hick country*, it was mostly on a cautionary level,...not once was any of menz  like yo, let\'s go harrass or beat up some white boys or let\'s go spray paint "cracker" on somebody house....again i\'m not sayin\' that it doesn\'t happen, but i just feel overall that white folks do it more than blacks....

[Paul2]

Care to share?

appreciate for asking.  would love to.  I just don\'t know where to start and it might fill up like a textbook of at least 20 pages to explain my story.  Considering my English is not that good, and my grammar is kind of all over the place, it might take a longer time than a better grammar person to explain it.

But I do hope sharing it now might helps me cope with it better.  Its been killing me for years.  Unfortunately, back in 2004, I remember writing like 22 pages of it and I deleted back in 2006 by accident.  And back in 2004, when I wrote my life story of this school incidents, I made some errors here and there of how the events actually happen and I left out some minor important events too.  And that time I was so mad that I didn\'t really understand what I am really mad about.  I make it looks like I am mad at him because he\'s superficial.  Then as time goes by, I realize I should have make it more clearer and explain that I am mad at him because he did something mean to me, not because he\'s superficial.  He being superficial is his problem, not mine and it doesn\'t bother just as long as he didn\'t discriminate against me.  Well, it\'s annoying when he\'s superficial.  But nothing really personal to me until he discriminated against me.


I am a really messed up person that I really do suck at life and still struggling every day.  I am really lucky that I am still alive to this day as I had been going through a number of near death experiences mostly because of this event that had happened.  School been trying to do cover up, and mental hospital been trying to do cover up too.  As soon as I realized the school and the mental hospital been doing cover up, I finally let it go about why the school and the hospital did the way they did.  It was awful what they did to me.  100 times much worse than what the teacher done to me, but I let it go and move on.  I don\'t agree with what the school did or what the hospital did, but I accept it and move on.

It was over a year and a half when I find out what the hospital done.  had I known earlier, I probably would have been in less misery than I already am.  I had no idea they were doing a cover-up and trying to hurt me.  Even after I found out what the hospital done, I immediately got the closure and could let go right away.  the hospital thought I would be upset and go after them if they tell the truth.  So they did a cover-up, and make me suffer badly.  They misunderstood what kind of person I am though.  Also, it\'s probably hard to tell the truth so they lied.

They thought I would get upset at them if I get well, so they tried to make me miserable every way possible.  But if I get well, it wouldn\'t bother me and I let go really easily.  And mid 2004 to 2006, I was going through hell.  And there are other bad events that happen to me in late 2006, and the most recent one was in December 2007 where I got the heart attack.  But this time, it wasn\'t really about the school or the hospital cover up though.  It was about this evil nurse who made me suffered because she can, and this outside doctor who is also evil too.  Me being nice to them, and they tricked, tortured, and lie to me.  It was very inhumane.  i was very surprised.  It was amazing that I still could let go and move on.  that just makes me certain that i hate being falsely accused and misunderstood more than being harmed.

I just wish my life is less miserable than it already is though.  I guess I have bad lucks life.

[Titan]

I believe that happened, but what i was pointing to was the more obvious cases of racism,...like when that afri. american was dragged from the back of the pick-up truck by some white folk in texas until his body literally broke apart, or the jena six incident,...those are clearly racist acts,....do some black folk abuse the race card issue?...sure....but i don\'t believe that when it comes to racist acts that it\'s a 50/50 thing... i feel it\'s more like 80/20 or maybe...70/30.

I remember back in \'89 when i was like 19 and i had just purchased my 240 sx brand new, body kit with rims and all and me and my menz would always go to this park in union,nj to play some B-ball and whenever we wanted to go there somebody always said.."damn, why ya\'ll wanna go up there?...those cops be trippin...(meaning those white cops)"...and most of the time we went through that white neighborhood we almost always got pulled over....now we could have stayed in the hood and played on the courts there, but there was this one court in union that was brand new. So even tho i knew we would get harrassed, i thought it would be worth it playin\' on a new court.


So in my experience and mostly everybody else in the hood at least when it came to interacting with white folk, *mainly white cops or down in deep hick country*, it was mostly on a cautionary level,...not once was any of menz  like yo, let\'s go harrass or beat up some white boys or let\'s go spray paint "cracker" on somebody house....again i\'m not sayin\' that it doesn\'t happen, but i just feel overall that white folks do it more than blacks....

Pshh, if I saw a 240SX with a body kit and rims drive by I\'d pull it over too

[Titan]

Damn paul, that\'s rough. Don\'t know what to say.

[Paul2]

yeah.  I was in bad shape before I moved to that school, so I wasn\'t emotionally prepared to witnessed what this teacher had done to me.

I really hope that I don\'t go to school anymore and especially don\'t move to a different school just so I don\'t have to endure what\'s coming next.  part of it has to do with my mom making many poor decisions to me and not believing that I am not physically, mentally, and emotionally well.   She really did put me in despair many times.   I think had I been stable, and moving to that school.  I think I can endure it much easier, and can defend myself instead of keeping it inside.

In May 2007, I finally opened up to a psychiatrist that came to see me, and I remember some of the things that he told me that I agree upon.  he said I was carrying a burden, and that I wanted to tell the truth.

btw.  had you read the letter that i attached on my previous post yet?

Not to sound like a dick, but black people can always holler racism when a white person does something to them, and whites have to prove otherwise...


case in point: My boss\'s daughter is in college, and last semester the teacher caught a black girl cheating red-handed right in class. The girl flipped shit and raised a rukkus and immediately started screaming racism. Then she had to be removed by security, because she assaulted the teacher. The girl has filed a lawsuit alleging racism. Now the teacher has to go to court and defend herself. The girl\'s case is basically that the teacher was unfairly targeting her because she is black.  

Whatever..I\'m buying a cabin in the wilderness and homeschooling my daughter.... I\'ll tell her "you better watch out for them black folks...."

You are posting on a message board and you have already demonstrated racism still exist. So how do you think it can\'y be possible in  the world; If you are showing this behavior on a message board? In anycase this is just another example of a stupid bitch caught cheating. Yeah she is screaming racism but on the real the people probably handle the situation wrong. Point simple racism still exist no matter what and this bitch is just stupid.

My brother got pulled over all the time in his 240sx, the price you pay for having a body kit, rims, and tinted windows.  Come to think of it though...the car was black.  Damn racist cops.

[Titan]

My brother got pulled over all the time in his 240sx, the price you pay for having a body kit, rims, and tinted windows.  Come to think of it though...the car was black.  Damn racist cops.

Yeah. You don\'t see too many white cars pulled over.

[Titan]

btw.  had you read the letter that i attached on my previous post yet?

Yeah dude. I dunno what to make of it. Teachers can be unfair sometimes. I\'ve experienced that so many times first hand. I\'ve gotten marked lower on essays on tests and someone else would say the exact same thing and get full credit.

[Paul2]

well, the grades that he put on my two essay assignments are 70/100 which is a fair grade.  But i was shocked to see 0s on the grade sheet that he posted on the wall.  If I didn\'t check my student I.D. number on the wall, I had no idea he graded 0s on the computer.  Those 0s are contradicting the 70s on the paper assignments that he graded.  If I truly got 0s, both the paper assignments and the grade sheet should be 0s, not one in 70s and the other 0s.

If I got 0s for those 2 homeworks assignments that I spent hours doing it, I rather not doing it and get 0s instead.

Again, I believe he did that because he\'s racist.  it just common sense.

When I asked him how come the grades are different.  He said that because I didn\'t turn it on the internet, and that\'s why I got 0s.  And he said that he told me in front of the classroom.  And I don\'t like being falsely accused like that.  I don\'t want the whole classroom to misunderstood thinking it\'s my fault and the teacher is innocent.  This student who is his teacher\'s aid on different period approached the teacher and the teacher told him to show me how to make an account and signed up my name on the internet and turn it on the internet.  And the student did as told.  But he has this looks that kind of upset me because as if he thinks it\'s my fault and the teacher is nice and stuff.

I can understand why he would help doing a cover up for the teacher.  Some of the reasons I can think of is because he\'s a teacher aid in different period.  Second, he didn\'t see what the teacher did to me from behind.  He only see one sided, and he did see me getting frustrated at this teacher and seeing me being mean at the teacher so he probably had the wrong assumption, thinking I was rude, or a jerk toward the teacher as if I am better than the teacher or something.  And that\'s not true.  It\'s actually the other way around.

And I was disappointed at myself for not clearing those up and get things straighten out.

[Paul2]

Oh yeah, if you skimp through on the last paragraph of page 3 of that letter is what start to get interesting and quite uncomfortable to read.  I was really uncomfortable too of what I witnessed about this individual teacher...

Again, i wasn\'t emotionally prepared to endure it.

[Viper_Fujax]

teachers are hardasses about turnitin.com because plagurism is a huge problem in school..now teachers have turnitin.com which is a kick ass program for them.

our teachers are the same, and theres usually a few people in the class behind in turning it in to the site..he gives them a hard time, but ends up letting them turn it in late, im assuming with a marked down grade..at least thats the way he was talking, but teachers are usually a pushover when you talk one on one with them so they probably all got the grade they originally had.

he gave you a 70 on the paper because that\'s what he graded, then he saw you didnt have it on turnitin.com and gave you a 0..i wasnt there but it seems pretty clearcut if his policy is that you need to turn it in on the site.

he could just be a hardass. are you the only minority in the school? and have other minorities complained about him? if thats the case, then hes racist..if its not, than hes a hardass giving you a hard time because teachers get frusterated when students dont turn things in where theyre supposed to. they dont sympathize for any legitimate reason you have for not turning it into the site...

[Paul2]

he gave you a 70 on the paper because that\'s what he graded, then he saw you didn\'t have it on turnitin.com and gave you a 0..i wasnt there but it seems pretty clearcut if his policy is that you need to turn it in on the site.

he could just be a hardass. are you the only minority in the school? and have other minorities complained about him? if thats the case, then hes racist..if its not, than hes a hardass giving you a hard time because teachers get frusterated when students dont turn things in where theyre supposed to. they dont sympathize for any legitimate reason you have for not turning it into the site...

I came to that school on 2nd semester, he never told me about turnitin.com, not in person and not during the time i was in his classroom.  He probably did told the students in 1st semester, but not to me during the first month I was in his classroom.

He probably took advantage of me being new to school, and discriminate me like that.  Doing something mean to me already upset me, but to falsely accused me in front of the classroom to make him look good and make me look bad upset me.  I wasn\'t really emotionally prepare for it.  I suck.

Again, like I already stated on the letter, it doesn\'t matter if I turnitin.com or not, how come both papers are still graded as 70s?  If he check the website and realized that I didn\'t turn it in, why didn\'t he crossed off the 70s and put the new grade 0s on them with an explanation like "come see me" or "needs to turnitin.com" like he did to other students papers that didn\'t turn it in the internet?  Not only that, but he crossed off 90 and gave this girl 33/100 because she didn\'t turnitin.com.

Those students were in that school for years, and they were in his class since 1st semester, and yet even if their papers didn\'t turn in the internet, they still get a lower grade and the paper assignments were marked with the new grades, and the paper were clearly explained why they got the grade they got.

This teacher thought he could fool me and the classroom, and I did got fool, even I thought it was an accident and even I trying to be nice to accept his accusation when he said that he told me...by that he means that \'he told, but i didn\'t listen.  so it\'s my fault.\'  even though he never told me.  me being nice to accept that just to realize 2 years later he was lying and he did that on purpose upset me....

The reason why I accepted that because I thought it was an accident, I was naive and thought that he probably lied because he didn\'t think i would believe him if it\'s was an accident.

Just to realize years later that he lied because it wasn\'t an accident but actually he did that on purpose.  That\'s why he lied and falsely accused me in front of the classroom upset me a lot.  Racism is intense.  I guess many people don\'t like being falsely accused, or being misunderstood either.  Me, I find being falsely accused and misunderstood more offensive than people do me wrong.

I am not emotionally stable to cope with it...

[Viper_Fujax]

is there a chance that you not being emotionally stable to cope with it makes a possibility that you\'re perceiving things different than what reality is? that\'s an everyday occurance for everyone, let alone if your at a time in life where your emotionally unstable.

if the reality is that he\'s a hardass, but you perceive him as racist, that would make your reality that he\'s racist, when in (his) reality hes a hardass.

im just playing devil\'s advocate to try to get you to think about more sides than that the guy\'s racist..its the best way to figuring things out rather than never thinking about other explanations for things

[Paul2]

well, i suppose the more accurate term to define him is semi-evil and semi-racist.  He\'s semi-good and semi-not racist.

I have very good reasons to believe he is racist toward me.  it\'s just common sense and that\'s how I perceive it that way.

Unlike students, say for instance if a student did something mean to me, they usually did it straight out, not from behind.  Because they are students and they got nothing to lose.  This individual teacher did it from behind because he works for the school and he could get in trouble for that.  He don\'t want to lose his reputation and don\'t want to lose his job.

And also, while i was a student in that school.  Most of the time, if a student do something mean to me, it\'s because i did something mean or bad first or something that causes him or her to misunderstood me.  and they get even.

Honestly, I don\'t want him to lose his job either.  All I wanted out of this is him to confessed in the classroom that he discriminated against me, and clear up the false accusations he put on me and apologize to me in front of the classroom and I should get the closure and forgive him and move on.

You see, had he not falsely accuse me in front of the classroom, then all I wanted is him to apologize to me in private.  I don\'t need other people to hear it because I don\'t want him to be humiliated either.  But because he falsely accused me and makes other students misunderstood me, it\'s better if he confess to the students too.

I just don\'t understand why it\'s difficult for people to accept that if someone is racist even when they have good reasons to.