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Author Topic: Of cats and dogs......  (Read 1542 times)

Offline luckee
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Of cats and dogs......
« on: May 15, 2003, 09:14:41 AM »
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG\'S DAILY DIARY



8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!

9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!

9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!

10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!

11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!

12:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!

1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!

4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!

5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!

5:30 pm - OH BOY! MUM! MY FAVOURITE!

6:00 pm - OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVOURITE!

6:30 pm - OH BOY! SLEEPING IN MASTER\'S BED! MY

FAVOURITE!





EXCERPTS FROM A CAT\'S DAILY DIARY



DAY 183



My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.



The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape and the mild

satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.



Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.



Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while

they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the

stairs.



In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again

induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair, must try this on their

bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in attempt to

make

them aware of what I am capable of and to try to strike fear into their

hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I

was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.



There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in

solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell

the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to

MY

power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my

advantage.



I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The

dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is

obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an

informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my

every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety

is

assured.

But I can wait, it is only a matter of time
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Don\'t cry over spilled milk., It could have been Whiskey.-Me

A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.-George Washington
Offline Coredweller
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Of cats and dogs......
« Reply #1 on: May 15, 2003, 10:04:08 AM »
That was pretty funny the first time I read it several years ago.  :)

Sorry.  :)
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Offline luckee
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Of cats and dogs......
« Reply #2 on: May 15, 2003, 10:09:40 AM »
bah..its new to me :D
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\"Booze, broads, and bullshit. If you got all that, what else do you need?\"-Harry Caray

Don\'t cry over spilled milk., It could have been Whiskey.-Me

A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.-George Washington

Offline videoholic

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Of cats and dogs......
« Reply #3 on: May 15, 2003, 10:24:59 AM »
New to me too.  Very funny.  Makes me realize why I hate cats.
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Offline Bjorn


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Of cats and dogs......
« Reply #4 on: May 15, 2003, 10:35:24 AM »
is this proof that
dogs = stupid
cats = teh smart!
?
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Offline videoholic

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Of cats and dogs......
« Reply #5 on: May 15, 2003, 10:43:52 AM »
^
spammer:D
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I wear a necklace now because I like to know when I\'m upside down.
 kopking: \"i really think that i how that guy os on he weekend\"
TheOmen speaking of women: \"they\'re good at what they do, for what they are.\"
Swifdi:
Offline kopking
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Of cats and dogs......
« Reply #6 on: May 15, 2003, 12:20:46 PM »
funny. the best part was about the bird in a cage at the end
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Offline Soul Reaver
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Of cats and dogs......
« Reply #7 on: May 15, 2003, 01:29:45 PM »
Dogs>cats

IMO.
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Offline SwifDi
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Of cats and dogs......
« Reply #8 on: May 15, 2003, 01:40:18 PM »
I also favor dogs over cats.
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Offline The Stapler
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Of cats and dogs......
« Reply #9 on: May 15, 2003, 02:10:15 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Soul Reaver
Dogs>cats


I concur.
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Offline Titan

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Of cats and dogs......
« Reply #10 on: May 15, 2003, 02:10:53 PM »
The cat one was posted before. The cat one does remind me of my cat though. He pulls all that same crap on us.
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Offline Lord Nicon
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Of cats and dogs......
« Reply #11 on: May 15, 2003, 03:25:28 PM »
lol. meh im a hardcore cat man. I mean i like dogs but i love cats. I guess one reason is because i grew up with one and she was older than i and lived to be about 14 or maybe a little older, (wich is pretty damn old). When she died i cried. lol. Meh, but still its not just about sofistication like some people, its .... shit... a lot. I just do. oh well.
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Originally posted by ##RaCeR##
I don\'t have comprehension issues, you just need to learn how to communicate.
Yessir massir ima f*** you up reeeeal nice and homely like. uh huh, yessum ; ).
Debra Lafave Is My Hero ;) lol

Offline Titan

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Of cats and dogs......
« Reply #12 on: May 15, 2003, 03:29:54 PM »
Cats are fun to play with. I like throwing a ball at my cat and watch him attack it. I have him sit on my lap and I move the mouse curser across the screen and watch him attack it (he jumped on the screen which was funny) and stupid stuff like that.
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Liquid Spam of The Spaminators
"That took some balls to stick a gun in his pants." -Gman
"LOL u know id fuck yu wsboth right? i would love to fuck the both of uyouy

U R FUCJKGIN FCUTE" -THX to luke and Bob
"13 year old girls sleep with older men cause they think theyre in love
13 year old boys sleep with older women cause theyd be stupid not to
Offline Lord Nicon
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Of cats and dogs......
« Reply #13 on: May 15, 2003, 03:37:19 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Titan
Cats are fun to play with. I like throwing a ball at my cat and watch him attack it. I have him sit on my lap and I move the mouse curser across the screen and watch him attack it (he jumped on the screen which was funny) and stupid stuff like that.

:laughing:  Yeah i used to point a laser pointer on the floor and my cat must have been like 12 and she would chase the hell out of that thing and try to scratch it like it was really something. My friends cats are really goofy too. They have really slick wood floors and when the cat runs really fast and tries to round a coner she slams into a door and just sits there for a second and then slowly walks away. :D
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Originally posted by ##RaCeR##
I don\'t have comprehension issues, you just need to learn how to communicate.
Yessir massir ima f*** you up reeeeal nice and homely like. uh huh, yessum ; ).
Debra Lafave Is My Hero ;) lol
Offline (e)
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Of cats and dogs......
« Reply #14 on: May 15, 2003, 03:37:40 PM »
Posted before.

Dogs ****ing rule over cats.

But hey pussy still rocks.
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Think for yourself. Question authority.
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