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Author Topic: Share Your Joke 2004!  (Read 4177 times)

Offline Paul2

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Share Your Joke 2004!
« Reply #45 on: September 06, 2004, 02:22:34 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by Ryu
what was the last thing jfk jr had to drink?

ocean spray


whats the difference between your mom and a frisbee?

the frisbee isnt a cocksucking whore

What\'s the worst thing about eating bald pussy?

putting the diaper back on when you\'re finished

What\'s the difference between a baby and a slice of pizza?

Pizza doesn\'t scream when you put it in the oven.

What\'s the difference between your mom\'s mouth and a penis?

Usually less than an inch.

One day a young boy woke up feeling sticky. Apparently he had just had a wet dream but didn\'t realize. Confused, he stuck his hand down his pants and then smelled the substance. Still confused he proceeded to give it a little taste. The first thing he said afterwards...

Tastes like mommy\'s kisses

What\'s the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls?

You can\'t move a truckload of bowling balls with a pitchfork

What\'s worse than a hundred dead babies in a hundred trash cans?

One dead baby in a hundred trash cans

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he was dead

Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he was tied to the first one.

Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?

Peer pressure.

What\'s the opposite of Christopher Reeves?

Christopher Walken

A little boy is being taken into the woods by a child molester. As they enter the darkness the kid says "Mister, I\'m scared. It\'s dark in here".

The child molester says "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone".

What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheelchair?

Rollaids


I don\'t get most of these....:confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:

Offline §ôµÏG®ïñD

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Share Your Joke 2004!
« Reply #46 on: September 06, 2004, 03:31:17 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by Bozco
What runs faster than a black man stealing a tv???





His Brother with the VCR



heres me thinking you were gonna say a somalian kid with a mcdonalds voucher.
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Offline Blade
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« Reply #47 on: September 06, 2004, 03:55:48 AM »
How can you not get those, Paul? Most of them aren\'t even funny, just incredibly blunt. That\'s the point.
Blade
What is up, buttercup? Down is the new up.

Offline Ryu
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Share Your Joke 2004!
« Reply #48 on: September 06, 2004, 04:28:40 AM »
Blunt they are, but I admit that at least half of them made me smile and half of those made me chuckle from slightly to loudly.
Don\'t you ever touch my cape.
-Ryu

Offline i_killed_ur_dog
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Share Your Joke 2004!
« Reply #49 on: September 06, 2004, 02:47:28 PM »
What has 4 wheels and can\'t fly?


Christopher Reeves
Don\'t be a fool and die for your country. Let the other sonofabitch die for his.

-General George S. Patton

Offline Titan

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Share Your Joke 2004!
« Reply #50 on: September 06, 2004, 03:13:17 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by i_killed_ur_dog
What has 4 wheels and can\'t fly?


Christopher Reeves


Damn, I thought the answer was a car :(
Liquid Spam of The Spaminators
"That took some balls to stick a gun in his pants." -Gman
"LOL u know id fuck yu wsboth right? i would love to fuck the both of uyouy

U R FUCJKGIN FCUTE" -THX to luke and Bob

"13 year old girls sleep with older men cause they think theyre in love
13 year old boys sleep with older women cause theyd be stupid not to

Offline Halberto
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Share Your Joke 2004!
« Reply #51 on: September 06, 2004, 03:37:09 PM »
Where are the baby jokes?

Offline Titan

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Share Your Joke 2004!
« Reply #52 on: September 06, 2004, 04:09:36 PM »
Get a new name Vivi?
Liquid Spam of The Spaminators
"That took some balls to stick a gun in his pants." -Gman
"LOL u know id fuck yu wsboth right? i would love to fuck the both of uyouy

U R FUCJKGIN FCUTE" -THX to luke and Bob

"13 year old girls sleep with older men cause they think theyre in love
13 year old boys sleep with older women cause theyd be stupid not to

Offline Halberto
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« Reply #53 on: September 06, 2004, 04:23:45 PM »
Yep. Im not the same person I was when I first was called ViVi, so I decided to change it.

Offline Titan

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Share Your Joke 2004!
« Reply #54 on: September 06, 2004, 04:24:40 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Halberto
Yep. Im not the same person I was when I first was called ViVi, so I decided to change it.


You\'ll always be the same moron :p ;) Just kiddin man :)
Liquid Spam of The Spaminators
"That took some balls to stick a gun in his pants." -Gman
"LOL u know id fuck yu wsboth right? i would love to fuck the both of uyouy

U R FUCJKGIN FCUTE" -THX to luke and Bob

"13 year old girls sleep with older men cause they think theyre in love
13 year old boys sleep with older women cause theyd be stupid not to

Offline §ôµÏG®ïñD

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Share Your Joke 2004!
« Reply #55 on: September 06, 2004, 06:04:29 PM »
How does superman put on his cape.




with his mouth...
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Offline i_killed_ur_dog
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« Reply #56 on: September 06, 2004, 10:38:29 PM »
^^^

:laughing:
Don\'t be a fool and die for your country. Let the other sonofabitch die for his.

-General George S. Patton

Offline Paul2

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« Reply #57 on: September 08, 2004, 07:51:00 AM »
On an electrician\'s truck: Let us remove your shorts.

Maternity Clothes Shop: We are open on Labor Day.

On a Front Door: Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.

On a Maternity Room Door: Push, Push, Push!

Non-smoking area: If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

Optometrist\'s Office: If you don\'t see what you\'re looking for, you\'ve come to the right place.

Scientist\'s Door: Gone Fission.

Taxidermist Window: We really know our stuff.

Podiatrist\'s Window: Time wounds all heels.

Sign on Fence: Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.

Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet ... miss a car payment.

Muffler Shop: No appointment necessary. We\'ll hear you coming.

Hotel: Help! We need inn - experienced people.

Butcher\'s Window: Pleased to meat you.

Sign in an office: We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.

Veterinarians Waiting Room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

The Electric Company: We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don\'t, you will be.

Beauty Shop: Dye now!

Garbage Truck: We\'ve got what it takes to take what you\'ve got.

Computer Store: Out for a quick byte.

Diner Window: Don\'t stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.

Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.

Cafeteria: Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.

Music Library: Bach in a minuet.

Funeral Home: Drive carefully, we\'ll wait.

Offline Paul2

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« Reply #58 on: September 21, 2004, 04:30:35 PM »
A little old lady was walking up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say, "Supersex!" She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex!" He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I\'ll take the soup."

Offline Paul2

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« Reply #59 on: September 21, 2004, 04:32:59 PM »
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor\'s office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don\'t do the following, your husband will surely die."

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal he can take to work. And for dinner, prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don\'t burden him with chores, as this could further his stress. Don\'t discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Try to relax your husband in the evening by wearing lingerie and giving him plenty of back rubs. Encourage him to watch some type of team sporting event on television. And, most importantly make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
"You\'re going to die," she replied.

 

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