Souly\'s building a house!

[GmanJoe]

Holy cow. Talk about a thread jack. This thing turned from building a house to Souly getting his heart ripped out, acid poured in to the hole, his heart peed on and thrown into a busy road.

Time will pass and you will move on. If she truly loved you she would not be doing the things she doing. If I were you I would let her be and go on with my life. If she ever realize what she had done she may try and come back too then that is your choice if you want her back.

But life does go and you will find someone else that is just how life is and I have been through this before. My long time ex and I new each other for 15 yrs. Then we got together and out of nowhere she flipped on me 18monts into the relationship.

I quickly moved on even though it hurt and she wanted me back. But I felt so bad by what she had done that I decided to move and be with someone else. I said if we are to be together maybe it will happen or it won\'t.

But at the end of the day life goes on.

[§ôµÏG®ïñD]

i\'ll take photos of the place once its finished, or at the stage just before laying teh flooring. and after. I\'ll make that place my bach pad in the mean time ;D I really would like to keep that house, we worked so hard to get the land (the land agent was a total moron, tried all sorts of dodgey shit on us) organise all the house details, plans etc. It\'s a shame to lose it. Its gonna be a beautiful place... Our dream home gone before the dream even began.  Hopefully they\'re will be a way we both can walk away from this with $$ in our pocket.

[§ôµÏG®ïñD]

I also fully understand the term "love hurts" and am really starting to hate 80\'s music.. I used to love that shit, now just about every f@#Ken song reminds me of us.  stoopid 80\'s music.

[GmanJoe]

Meh...you\'ll end up with a hotter chick without mental/emotional luggage.

This is will work out in the end for you.

Remember the first rule about relationships:

DO NOT DATE PSYCHOS.

[§ôµÏG®ïñD]

Personally, i\'d rather sort things out with lisa, relationships aren\'t easy. We\'ve been together 10 years, building a house etc. I just think we got to a point where she didn\'t know what i want and i didn\'t get what she wants and has clashed, then inturn clashed at every meeting we\'ve had instead of talking it out.  
Oneday i\'m hoping we can just talk it out. I\'ve grown from this, i understand fully the part i took in all of this and i just want lisa to know it.

I\'m hoping she has too, if we both get back together understanding what we did wrong we won\'t repeat the same mistakes.

If not, then life goes on, but i didn\'t get this far into our relationship to just let it slide away between my fingers without even trying to sort it out. I\'ve been goin at it all wrong, blaming rather then talking.  All the crap that happened in her past was just that, in her past. This stuff hasn\'t happened for awhile. I donno, i prefer not to go through this again in 10 years when we have kids etc, but if she\'s learnt from her mistakes too, we won\'t have too.

My advice

1) Do the 30-day no contact rule.  No emails, texts, checking her facebook, etc...

2) Zip up all pictures you have of her on your PC, and store it somewhere so you can\'t look at them freely

3) Best thing: Surround yourself with positive people and don\'t listen to depressing music.

It\'s the only way to feel better in this situation.  Moping around for what could have been will just prolong the pain.

This advice seems like it\'s too hard to take right now, but in a month things will become much more clear.

And lastly, think with your HEAD, not with your HEART.  Your heart is a roller coaster of emotions right now.  Love, sorrow, pain, guilt.  It can\'t be trusted but your mind with the knowledge and fact that she did this to you makes perfect sense.  You deserve better, you KNOW this.  But your heart is going to tell you otherwise.  Now get out of the house!

[§ôµÏG®ïñD]

But again, theres reasons for everything, people make mistakes.. She did break it off, but it needed to happen. So we both can learn a lesson from it. I know i sure have and i am thinking pretty clearly. My emotions are starting to even out and i was taking sleepin meds, stopped taken them last night to see how i go and didn\'t wake up to badly. I\'ve sent lisa one last message saying call me when your ready to talk. She didn\'t tell me to F-off or OK, so i\'m not exactly sure how to take that.
I\'m gonna give her the space she needs to sort her self out. It\'s very hard though, i miss lisa more then anything, but hope for the best, prepare for the worst is how i\'m looking at this now. If she does truly want to end this relationship then i\'ll respect that and move on. If she doesn\'t, then i want to sort things through.   I find sometimes relationships do need some time apart, it can help the relationship grow stronger after. Which is what i\'m hoping for. I just think at some point we ended up on different pages, but with the same goal in mind. I just didn\'t make it clear enough to lisa and vice visa. I felt i found my soul mate.

I\'ll even tell u how we meet,
We first meet in high school. She was in my class and we just clicked, could talk about anything we wanted and never had a problem with it. Anyway i left school in the 11th year and didn\'t say goodbye to lisa.
I had a mate ben who i used to be pretty close with, he told me that he saw lisa on the bus a few times so i asked him if he could give her my number and let her know where i am so we could catch up.

Anyway, that never happened, But oneday my (old) best mate shane and I were walking through a church (shortcut) to go from our local shopping center (mall) to my house and we just happened to walk into lisa. I was so happy to see her and gave her my details or told her to come to my place, can\'t remember now. anyway we caught up a few days or week later. Lisa said that day she was gonna go around the church but felt that she should walk through it. Then we hit it off, became very close, then started dating.  Theres been ups and downs, but that didn\'t really bother me, because lisa is worth it. I feel she still is and i\'ll fight as much as i can to get her back. I know that sounds lame but its just the way i feel.   I mean, everytime i get in my car i hear this stupid (never meant to fail) song.  
Starting to drive me nutz.

[videoholic]

I would never in a million years ever marry a chick I have to "try" at having a relationship.  My wife and I never fight.  We just live our lives and don\'t fret the little shit.  I just couldn\'t imagine feeling like I have to work at a relationship that I\'m not even married or committed to.

[clips]

I would never in a million years ever marry a chick I have to "try" at having a relationship.  My wife and I never fight.  We just live our lives and don\'t fret the little shit.  I just couldn\'t imagine feeling like I have to work at a relationship that I\'m not even married or committed to.

^^^This!!!...yeah souly...we all feel your pain and i know it feels like your world is fallin\' apart, but do NOT sit and wait on her to respond or to even talk. She didn\'t tell you yo f**k off because she\'s probably bein\' nice or it\'s just not in her demeanor, but she was the one that broke up with you.

 I know it\'s gonna be painful since you\'re still dealin\' with elements of her life as in her pops and house itself, but bro, seriously i wouldn\'t sit around waiting or hoping she\'s going to respond to my e-mails or texts....alot of us have been thru the same thing you\'re goin\' thru, and it\'s true that it shouldn\'t take sooo much to get the relationship goin\'...even if there are other people getting involved and giving their opinion, none of that would have mattered if she loved you the way you were loving her.

^^^This!!!...yeah souly...we all feel your pain and i know it feels like your world is fallin\' apart, but do NOT sit and wait on her to respond or to even talk. She didn\'t tell you yo f**k off because she\'s probably bein\' nice or it\'s just not in her demeanor, but she was the one that broke up with you.

 I know it\'s gonna be painful since you\'re still dealin\' with elements of her life as in her pops and house itself, but bro, seriously i wouldn\'t sit around waiting or hoping she\'s going to respond to my e-mails or texts....alot of us have been thru the same thing you\'re goin\' thru, and it\'s true that it shouldn\'t take sooo much to get the relationship goin\'...even if there are other people getting involved and giving their opinion, none of that would have mattered if she loved you the way you were loving her.

I agree with you and Vid. Dude we all have been there. The shit hurts real bad and you feel like maybe it would be better to work it out with that person than start over. I know I have said life is too short and if you love someone and no they are meant for you. Then you both should be together.

But you should not have to work so hard for the other person be with you. If that person really loves you then it\'s shouldn\'t be so difficult. I would hate to have to jump through hoops to be with my gf. Noway man I learned my lesson it always ends up being bad in the long wrong.

I think every guy can see were your coming from. But I learned with time everything works out. I am pretty sure she has or will have no problem having another dude occupy her time.

[§ôµÏG®ïñD]

meh, donno man. Lisa isn\'t cheating, that i\'m sure of. If she was she\'d be happy and not dropping shit loads of weight like she has been. As for finding another guy to occupy her time? i donno, if she did i\'m sure she would be telling me already and still be happy. She didn\'t look happy at our last meet.

This is what i\'m talking about, to many people get into our heads and say what they "think" is going on, i don\'t know whats going on, don\'t get me wrong. I\'m giving lisa a month and then i\'ll contact her and sort it out or not, but i\'m not expecting it to work out.

So i\'m treating it as if we\'re over already. She may just need to figure things out for herself and is doing it in her own way. I donno.. Hope for the best, expect the worst. Thats how i\'m seeing this now.

I\'ll still have a house warming, would be great if she was there with me, who knows.. none of us including me. If she doesn\'t want to continue this relationship i\'ve learnt a major lesson from it and my next partner will benifit from it. One heart broken, another gained...

meh, donno man. Lisa isn\'t cheating, that i\'m sure of. If she was she\'d be happy and not dropping shit loads of weight like she has been. As for finding another guy to occupy her time? i donno, if she did i\'m sure she would be telling me already and still be happy. She didn\'t look happy at our last meet.

This is what i\'m talking about, to many people get into our heads and say what they "think" is going on, i don\'t know whats going on, don\'t get me wrong. I\'m giving lisa a month and then i\'ll contact her and sort it out or not, but i\'m not expecting it to work out.

So i\'m treating it as if we\'re over already. She may just need to figure things out for herself and is doing it in her own way. I donno.. Hope for the best, expect the worst. Thats how i\'m seeing this now.

I\'ll still have a house warming, would be great if she was there with me, who knows.. none of us including me. If she doesn\'t want to continue this relationship i\'ve learnt a major lesson from it and my next partner will benifit from it. One heart broken, another gained...

I wasn\'t trying to imply that she is cheating on you. But if she was so miserable and could not get on without you. Then there would be no huge issue if you too were going to be together. But if you\'re willing to wait around for her to make up her mind if she wants to spend the rest of her life with you then by all means wait. It\'s your life not mine.

Just based off your comments It just seems like it is over for her and if she wanted to be with you then why the separation? How selfish of her to expect you to wait around while she makes her mind.

[GmanJoe]

Don\'t go back to her, Souly. Even if she wants to give out free poon. Even if you think the angry sex will be fantastic, don\'t go back. It will make your feelings linger and create self doubt and cause more depression.

The first step to recovery is masterbation. At least that\'s what clips told me.

[§ôµÏG®ïñD]

Yea, i\'m kinda at the point now where if she wanted to sort things out she would have by now, or atleast given me some kind of message on the phone saying when she wants to sort shit out ( date of some sort) She\'s broken it off with me, so thats that. Pity, i only thought of this now too, i gave her unconditional love, she gave me conditions on everything. Engagement date, when she wants to have kids by etc. Thats hardly unconditional love. She expected me to hold a promise i made to her when i was 18, which was i\'d get engaged to her at 21 if we were still together. I was f@#ken 18, i was a kid and even at 21 barely had enough cash or grounding to even think of marrage. Its only now when we finally got our house getting built was i ready to get engaged to her. I need my castle to protect my wife, if that makes any sense and i hate the idea of open engagements. They\'re bs imo. Even if we did get married at 21 - 22 etc.. What, we\'re gonna live in 2 different houses?? wtf.. She even told me on the night we broke up, that she\'d be happy if i had married her back then. A ring doesn\'t make a marrage last, the people in it do!!

I would have been happy to live in a bin with her and not cared, as long as i was with her. I guess she never really felt that way. She was to focused on her wants and needs and not giving a shit that just being together should have been enough. No matter what she said to me, or called me (names etc) i didn\'t care. I still loved her, no matter what emotional crap she pulled on me, didn\'t matter, i still loved her. Yet she doesn\'t have enough respect or courage to even talk to me. I do derserve better then this.  I can\'t believe i\'m the one who has to be sucking up to her to get her back. After all the years i\'ve been there for her, helped her through her problems, protected her against her retard brother, got her back into her own house, let her live with me for 2 years, bought gods only knows how much shit for her and i\'m made to feel like shit.  I know my worth, i\'m a good person and didn\'t derserve this.

She\'s confided in friends and family rather then me, i\'ve always confided in her, never my family or even friends. Everything i felt or had a problem with i told to lisa, even if she was doing something herself i didn\'t like. I wouldn\'t run of and tell a mate.   She was repeating things to me about what this chick at her work was saying, a chick she HATES and now they\'re best buddies, hmmmm. Anyway, she was saying stuff like "you derserve everything u want" "nathan doesn\'t like me" crap like that. I don\'t know this chick, i\'ve meet her about 3 times. How could i dislike or like her, i\'ve barely even spoken to her. Its crap like that, that was starting before the breakup. I was like, wtf does she have to do with anything? why are u listening to this crap? etc.

and even now i get told by a mate that she\'s emailed a mutural friend saying I\'ve told her NOT to keep contact with them. Which was bullshit, all i said to lisa was they may be upset by whats happened and to be careful when talking to them (they\'ll wanna know why etc)  thats it. Lisa herself broke a date with them, she was meant to see them on the friday night before i got my stuff from her place and cancelled. Even so, lisa is a freebird now, what does it matter what i say??  I still love lisa, will for some time, but i\'m not waiting anymore. I\'ve waiting long enough. They say if u let someone go and they come back its meant to be, or some shit like that. I\'ve TRIED to come back to her and got nothing in return.

I\'ll still have to keep in contact with lisa, about the house and issues involved in it, but thats it.

Looking forward to moving into my house, gonna have a nice big house warming party (all the doods from work and friends). Might as well enjoy it while i got it. Will build a gym in it, work out and play the g-tar, if i meet some special lady i\'ll ehhh, maybe even have some fun in my new house. heheheheheh